I feel like everything has been out of order this week.
I'm slacking.
I'm turning to others when I should be turning to You.
I'm allowing what were once close friendships to crumble, and I don't feel bad about it.
I feel bad about the fact that I don't feel bad about letting what were once close friendships crumble.
I'm allowing insecurities to affect me.
I'm living for myself.
And I hate it.
On the outside, I'm consistent in You.
On the inside, I'm consistent in You.
But on that subconcious second plane of the inside, I'm putting You off.
And it's throwing my whole world out of whack.
Here we go again.
Lord, undo me.
1 comment:
let's just say i have a BUTT TON of underwear... (ha, butt ton)
about my gaydar... i have a friend at work who i've been hanging out with a little here and there. i thought he might like me (but he's a little youngin'), yet i could sense a couple of gay vibes. i disregarded them because well, i just couldn't totally believe it. apparently he IS gay; the good ol' facebook (doesn't completely, but sort of) confirms it, and so did a close friend of his. i still can't get over it because it's just weird (not the whole idea of being gay, but him in general). i don't know, it's crazy.
i'm glad that you realize that you are going down a wrong path, and are ready to immediately fix it. i wish i was strong like you. i've been living only for myself for the past four years or so. i know it, but i hate that i don't feel like fixing it right now. i've gotten too comfortable, and that's horrible. but a lot of things that i have gone through i wouldn't change or take back because they have made me see things differently, and to better accept different ideas. but i notice the way i react to some things now, and it's definitely not the greatest, and i remember what i used to be like. basically relient k is my whole life, especially most of "who i am hates who i've been".
the end. lovies.
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