The way I see it, there are 4 major groups of female in my life:
1. The girls who look to me as a mentor
2. The girls who are my friends, and are great for girl talks, and yes do have a positive influence on my life, but are still too close to my age and my level of experience to look to as a mentor.
3. The girls/women who are slightly older and wiser from which to seek advice.
4. The women who are much older and wiser from which to seek advice, but for that reason I hesitate to be mentored too deeply.
When I was in junior high and high school, the majority of the peope I spent time with were boys. Not because I'm a flirt, or because being around boys made me feel good about myself...because when I was younger, I felt that boys were an accepting safehaven from girls who might judge or misunderstand me. Or, more often, because I was too judmental and misunderstanding of girls who were mean and annoying. Guys didn't care one way or the other. And so therefore, I was always "that girl"...either considered as "she's ours, keep away," or "she's just one of the guys," or perhaps a conbination of the two. Sadly to say, excluding my sister and my few closest female friends in high school, I didn't really start connecting with girls until I started working at Brookhill. To this day, my girlfriends from camp are right beneath my childhood best friend on the level of BFF. Then, I came to college, and experienced similar connections with females. It was a whole new world for me!
However, lately I've realized that it's hard to keep a healthy balance between guy friends and girl friends. Ironically, the person I turn to when I really need to talk is a guy. This is usually just fine, until the things I need to talk about are matters that don't normally pertain to guys. The other day, one of my (female) friends pointed out that 80% of the time I mention "my friend from high school" or "my friend from camp," I'm talking about a guy. The people I visit are guys. The people who visit me are guys. The people I stay in touch with are guys. Last night I watched Ninja Turtles: Secret of the Ooze in a masculine garage apartment with about 8 masculine guys doing masculine things and having masculine conversations on masculine furnature. Being the only estrogen-producing being in the room didn't bother me, but it's yet another thing that makes me question my normality...
I'm not particularly girly, but I am by no means a "tough girl." I have no interest in cars, sports, pain, etc. I'm not the hot tomboy who wears baseball caps, bets on NFL games, changes oil, and spits. No, in fact, I dream about my future husband riding up on a stallion and galloping off into the sunset with him in a poofy medeval dress (ok, maybe not quite that lame...but something close to it.) Why, then, do I attract and seek to attrack more males than females as friends?
All this to say, I am embarassingly infatuated with the same boy I've been embarassingly infatuated with for far too long, and I'm about to call an X chromosome and gab to her about my annoyingly feminine desires.
3 comments:
A. You can call me anytime... especially considering we have been in the same boat for like our whole lives.
B. The "hot tomboy"? Hm. I don't think that first descriptor fits me.
C. Being just "one of the guys" can be such a blessing, but also such a curse. I know exactly how you feel. I am so thankful for my guy friends, but it is FRUSTRATING when you want to be MORE than just a friend but they don't seem to see you as anything else.
D. Georgia, God has awesome stuff planned for your life. It's not weird that you have mostly guy friends - they are great - but be praying for some awesome girl friends as well that you can go hang out with and spill to and enjoy being a girl. That's what I did going to college, and I am so blessed to have both sets of friends in my life.
E. I think we were on at the same time... and I was posting about you. How ironic.
F. We DEFINITELY need to talk this week. Seriously. I might be calling you tomorrow afternoon if I can get my work done. I want to be one of the estrogen-producing people in your life that you can talk to, because I know that we can very closely relate and despite my awesome girl friends most of them have not been in the same boat as me.
I knew it, i tried to apologize for the 5 extra guys that showed up. You wouldn't let me.
George, i wouldn't consider you just one of the guys, or a tomboy. No way, I mean you love long flowing dresses and all of those other lady like things. Haha.
And you know, that's what guys are attracted to. In their DNA to like that. It also makes them feel more like a man in a way.
I have it a bit different than you, i can tend to be a lone wolf. I can tend to keep everything to myself and not seek outside assistance or help. Too many times i am ok with fighting battles alone.
There's nothing wrong with being infatuated with a guy for a long period of time. I know that women (to use some Eldredgeisms) like to be the "beauty to be rescued"
But i've never seen anything wrong with a girl trying to initiate something--to a point anyways.
If he doesn't go to school with you and you don't see him, that's tough. I don't have any advice for a situation like that.
If it is someone you see occasionally then maybe you could start a conversation with them that they would be interested in. I don't know, it might take some research even.
I mean, if a girl that i never really thought about much came up to me and started telling me about the razorbacks spring practice was that day, there's no doubt i would start to think twice about her. I would That conversation would engage me bigtime!
Guys can be one track minded a lot of the time and not be aware of something that's right in front of them. If you can get him talking to you with some regularity, that could be a good sign he's in to you.
But like you know, it all comes down to God's will. We think we know what the bread and fish are in our life when reality it's stones and snakes that were looking at. In other words, we don't always know what is best for us. But God knows what is bread and fish.
Realize, That when two people are involved, God's will for your life might be a response to something God is doing in someone else's life.
Someone might pray hard for it not to rain, and some farmer might be praying even harder for it to rain. God will act and someone will go unhappy.
You can look at it questioning why God has you where you are, but realize that it might be more that God wants someone else to be single for the time being and not so much just you that he wants to be single. Patience sucks, but it's always the key.
Oh Georgia, if only I'd been 5 years younger I would have asked you out on a date. :)
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