infinite

I am a very sentimental person, and in my opinion, each season of the year contains certain songs that should be played, certain places that should be visited, certain feelings that should be felt.
Four years ago, I read a book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. If you have not read it, I very highly recommend it. There is one point in the book where Charlie, the narrator, recounts his adventures of a Friday night after a football game...

“Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called 'Landslide.' When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

Every time I drive through the Bobby Hopper Tunnel on I-540, I picture this scene. I also often like to take notice of the "infinite" moments in my life...those little moments where emotion cannot be described or expressed, only felt and overflowed.

Last night, I was driving back from a ministry team meeting at our team's director's house, which is a few miles outside of the city. My radio had been on some random station, and when I turned my car on, "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac had just begun, as if it were waiting for me. Some may call this a cool coincidence. I like to think it was a little gift from God to me. Driving back through the mountains, viewing the fall colors of the trees, feeling the crisp air from outside my windows, and listening to that beautiful song...I was at peace with the world. It didn't matter that I knew I would be up until 3 am studying for two tests, or that my Education advisor wanted me to plan out in detail my next 5 semesters, or that I had no money and no time, or that I was anxious about certain relationships, or that I was dealing with conflict with a friend. No, all that mattered was that I was loved, and I was me, and yet I was no one...that I was living, and not just alive. All I cared about was driving my little Cavalier, Mary Anne, around every curve of the road, past every beautiful and unfamiliar landmark, through every chill of the wind. And I felt romanced by nature and by God, and I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear I was infinite.