braving memories

Dumbledore: "I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."

Harry: "You mean... that stuff's your thoughts?"

Dumbledore: "Certainly."

* * * * *

Music is my Pensieve. There's something wonderful about music's ability to capture and preserve memories and emotions. Take seasons, for example. There are certain songs and certain albums that I only listen to during specific seasons of the year. During the rare out-of-season occasions I listen to these songs, I am taken back to the "season" they represent.

Music preserves seasons of life, as well. I love this about music--it's like a time machine. However, sometimes remembering a season can be painful.

* * * * *




Meet Alexi Murdoch: Scottish folk singer and pure bliss to the ears and soul. I love Alexi Murdoch, and his album "Time Without Consequence" is one of my favorite albums of all time. It is soothing and peaceful, yet still complex and brilliant. Additonally, Alexi is one of the few folk singers I know of who writes positive music. Seriously, if the man isn't already taken, I want to marry him.

This album, however, is a pensieve. This album contains the memories of a very lovely season of my life, as well as the memories of a very difficult season of my life; both of which are very painful for me to think about. The memories stored in these songs are memories that I avoid, times in my life that I don't often allow myself to even think about.

In the past few months, I have briskly swept through the "As" of my iPod, ignoring Alexi Murdoch as if he were an ex-boyfriend I didn't want to make eye contact with. I have missed his sweet melodies. I have longed to listen to them. I thought about it a few times, but I never brought myself to actually tap the song and let it play. I kept telling myself, "maybe tomorrow. Soon, one of these days. But not yet. You aren't ready yet."

I don't know what possessed me to do it. I wasn't in a nostalgic mood. I wasn't feel sad or overwhelmingly strong. I wasn't setting out to prove anything. But tonight, I came in from Age to Age, pulled up my iTunes, and did it.

I pushed play.
And I've almost made it through the whole album.