hopelessly human

Sometimes I think about how grossly human I am, and it kind of bums me out. It's hard to accept that no matter how hard I try (or don't try), I'm always going have selfish motives, and I'm never going to be completely Christlike. Yes, my imperfection is discouraging...but I quickly get over it. Nonetheless, I've realized lots of things I need to be working on in my life for the time being:

1. Service/Attitude
James 2 says that faith without works is dead. Yesterday, I really started thinking about this, and asked God for opportunities to do "good deeds." To be a servant, to benefit to the community. My conversation with God went a little something like this...
God: "Age to Age. CARE. Tutoring. Circuit Riders. Service at Wesley. Service around campus. Service at home."
Me: "AKA, all the stuff I'm already doing. So I'm good to go, right?"
God: "Wrong. You don't think of these as ways to serve. You think of them as things you have to do. Tell me the last time you walked in to Age to Age with excitement to see the kids, and not the thoughts of 'crap, it's time for Age to Age.' Do you visit the nursing home so the sweet old ladies will make you feel good about yourself, or do you go to bring them the joy of the Lord? When you sing and speak on Sundays, are you praying for and bring life to what may be nearly-dead churches, or are you simply wondering what kind of chicken will be at the potluck? When you vaccuum floors, wash dishes, set up chairs, I know you're joyful, but do you think of it as service to others? Are you sharing my love to the people in your classes, in the cafeteria, in your dorm? I've given you countless opportunities to serve. Just take the initiative."
Me: "Fine. You win."

2. Patience
I'm a pretty easy-going, easy-to-please, friendly and tolerant kind of gal. But let's face it. It all comes back to that humanity thing...some people just annoy me. It really doesn't happen often...very rarely am I irritated. But when I get annoyed, I don't act like Jesus. I act like Junior High Georgia. And if you didn't know me then...be thankful. I was a jerk.

3. Wisdom
Why wisdom? Because it's almost 1:00 in the morning, and I have a class at 8:00 in the morning. Staying up this late doesn't bother me if I'm doing something productive. But I'm not. James 1 says (have you noticed that I really like James? It's my favorite book. I think that James and I would be good friends were he not dead.) that God will grant wisdom to those who ask. Here's a conversation I'm having with God right now:
Me: "God, I'm a fool, and I need your wisdom."
God: "Go to bed, fool."
Me: "Yes, sir."

"Smile and be thankful, you're a Senior Counselor!"

That's what I've been telling myself since I got hired on Tuesday. With an overwhelming amount of tests and projects and everything else life has thrown at me this week, the thought of having my own cabin has been a prime motivator. Thankfully, I took my last test today. I feel more confident than I thought I would, but I'm not expecting more than a C. I'm not expecting more than a C in this class, because with only 2 tests left, I don't even know if anything higher is possible at this point.

Last night I started flipping out at the thought of losing my scholarship. I guess I never really thought it would or could happen, like I was too smart or something. Well, for Midterms I had all As and a C, telling me that even if I have all As in my other classes, since I'm only taking 15 hours, I can't drop a class. This makes me nervous, because I study like crazy for that class. And then my Mom called me and told me some crazy stuff that's going on at home with her job, of which I don't even really know about, because for some reason she feels like it's best she doesn't tell me. And then I got a major headache that was so painful that I finally just had to quit studying and go to sleep, hoping that I would wake up in time to cram info into my mind in the morning...

but, then it hit me once again..."Georgia. Smile and be thankful. You're a Senior Counselor!"
Insert giddy grin and leg kick here.

Thank you, God, for Spring Break.
Thank you for my potential passing grade on my World Civ II test. (Hint hint.)
Thank you for my Mom.
Thank you for my scholarship.
Thank you for the Bay cabin, all the lovely girls who will reside in it this summer, and the man who decided that I was good enough to lead it. :)

Praise the LORD!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, like I can study now.

:D

Mizzou-Rah

This weekend, my two "home" friends and I drove a total of 14-hours to visit our friend Katie at the University of Missouri.

Perks of My Weekend:

• I got to catch up, laugh about high school nothings, and jam to Taylor Swift/Hannah Montana with Jordan and Lauren.
• I learned how scary/amazing Highway 7 is. Little Switzerland+Dog Patch+"Grand Canyons"+Hillbillies=never-dull moments.
• I paid $3.00 for a 5-hour energy shot that apparently made me see things, such as the Virigin Mary in a Canoe on the side of the highway. I SWEAR it was there, and I'm going to prove it next time we drive up there.
• I got to see my best friend for the first time in 3 months and meet her amazing friends.
• Two words: Waffle House.
• I got to experience life as a sorrority girl (to a partial extent.)
• I understood why my friend choose MU.
• I crashed Katie's formal by having a killer migrane. I don't think she minded leaving, but I felt really bad about it.
• I compared my best friend's college experience to my own, and found that they appear on two opposite ends of the spectrum. And I'm ok with that. I'm glad we're both happy in our on worlds, no matter how different they are.

Also, apparently, these things makes me cry:

• Migrane headaches
• Hugging friends goodbye
• "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift.

Yep, I'm pretty sure that's enough waterworks for a while.

Oh, the Children

I went exactly one month with out writing in this thing.
I've been so busy lately that I've hardley had time for any internet shinanigins. I've also been writing more in my actual, tangible prayer journal, so I guess I just kind of left this alone.
In summary, Kyle, if you're reading this, thanks for the inspiration to start writing again!

Middle Schoolers are composing 3/4 of my life as of now:
-Age to Age for 3-4 hours on Monday, and a recent Age to Age trip to Springdale
-Observing 4-6 hours/week in an 8th grade Social Studies classroom
-Tutoring (reading recovery) once a week in a 5th grade classroom
-3+ hours/week of Intro to Education class

Some of this I love, some of this I despise.
If I hear or read "Integrative curriculum" or "cognitive development" one more time, I may be very temped to hike Mt. Nebo and hurl myself off its highest peak.

Speaking of kids...I'm in the interview-ish process of my potential summer job. Again. (I told Camp War Eagle I'm not coming...eliminating all safety nets.)
I'll find out sometime this month. God is really testing my patience. I'm so ready to just KNOW.

Because of all the above info, I seriously had to stop myself today and question, "Whoa? When did I start liking kids so much?" This time a few years ago, I would have said, "No way, Jose."
Then again, this time a few years ago, I guess I was a kid.
I suppose that changes things a bit.

this present darkness

The battle is raging,
the devil is raging.
I don't want to be sleeping
while the battle is raging.

For I don't fight as one who beats the air;
Give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
I put on Christ,
Make no provision for my flesh
Put on the whole armour of God
Leave no open door to darkness.
And I take the scroll, I eat the scroll
I open up my mouth and speak forth Your Word
I take the Sword of the Spirit

Blessed be the Lord my Rock
Who trains my hands for battle
Who trains my hands for war!
-Laura Hackett

A final word: be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against the mighty powers of this present darkness, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's rightousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith, which extinguishes the fiery arrows of the evil one. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and at every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
Ephesians 6:10-18

Wow.
I think I finally woke up...
So this is what it means to be a prayer warrior.
And this is war.

a doggone night

Please tell me why it takes me 2+ hours to write the same philosophy paper for my Education class that takes my friend Fred an hour and a half to write, and my friend Anna 30- minutes.
And I thought I got it done super-speedy. Two hours is a grand record for me.
Sigh. In the wide words of my father, "Oil Well."

Tonight, I went to see "Hotel for Dogs" with the 11-year-old I mentor.
It was surprisingly less horrible than I thought it would be.
Plus, one of the main dogs was named Georgia. This pretty much made my night.
And Taylor didn't even beat me up tonight. She only kicked me a few times!
What a good night.

I am spending 2/3 of my weekend at home, and I am estatic! I didn't get to spend time with a lot of my friends over Christmas break, so I can't wait to hang out with the boys on Saturday. (I have no female friends in England. Sad, I know.)

I may as well mention that tomorrow is February 4th. I am not necessarily fond of February 4th. And no matter how much I'd like to deny the fact, it's on my mind.

Now off to study for Biology...alright!