hopelessly human

Sometimes I think about how grossly human I am, and it kind of bums me out. It's hard to accept that no matter how hard I try (or don't try), I'm always going have selfish motives, and I'm never going to be completely Christlike. Yes, my imperfection is discouraging...but I quickly get over it. Nonetheless, I've realized lots of things I need to be working on in my life for the time being:

1. Service/Attitude
James 2 says that faith without works is dead. Yesterday, I really started thinking about this, and asked God for opportunities to do "good deeds." To be a servant, to benefit to the community. My conversation with God went a little something like this...
God: "Age to Age. CARE. Tutoring. Circuit Riders. Service at Wesley. Service around campus. Service at home."
Me: "AKA, all the stuff I'm already doing. So I'm good to go, right?"
God: "Wrong. You don't think of these as ways to serve. You think of them as things you have to do. Tell me the last time you walked in to Age to Age with excitement to see the kids, and not the thoughts of 'crap, it's time for Age to Age.' Do you visit the nursing home so the sweet old ladies will make you feel good about yourself, or do you go to bring them the joy of the Lord? When you sing and speak on Sundays, are you praying for and bring life to what may be nearly-dead churches, or are you simply wondering what kind of chicken will be at the potluck? When you vaccuum floors, wash dishes, set up chairs, I know you're joyful, but do you think of it as service to others? Are you sharing my love to the people in your classes, in the cafeteria, in your dorm? I've given you countless opportunities to serve. Just take the initiative."
Me: "Fine. You win."

2. Patience
I'm a pretty easy-going, easy-to-please, friendly and tolerant kind of gal. But let's face it. It all comes back to that humanity thing...some people just annoy me. It really doesn't happen often...very rarely am I irritated. But when I get annoyed, I don't act like Jesus. I act like Junior High Georgia. And if you didn't know me then...be thankful. I was a jerk.

3. Wisdom
Why wisdom? Because it's almost 1:00 in the morning, and I have a class at 8:00 in the morning. Staying up this late doesn't bother me if I'm doing something productive. But I'm not. James 1 says (have you noticed that I really like James? It's my favorite book. I think that James and I would be good friends were he not dead.) that God will grant wisdom to those who ask. Here's a conversation I'm having with God right now:
Me: "God, I'm a fool, and I need your wisdom."
God: "Go to bed, fool."
Me: "Yes, sir."