Last night, a friend and I were driving around Kansas City, and thanks to his trusty GPS, we were able to find our way from his house to the place I was staying on the other side of the city. After being "rerouted" a few times, we got into a discussion on how God is not unlike a GPS system; that conversation has been swimming in my head ever since.
When it comes to dealing with the future, I have always been a worrier. It's not necessarily that I worry, but more that I am too reliant on order and organization. I like to know what I'll be doing, where I'll be doing it, and who I'll be doing it with. I like to plan, and for this reason, I have always struggled with putting my complete trust and reliance on God.
How does this tie in with a GPS? I'll tell you. Sometimes I think that my Tom-Tom is heaven-sent. It takes me exactly where I need to go, even when I have no idea where I'm headed. However, it takes the trip little by little. Sometimes, on long trips with lots of interstate traveling, it won't speak for hours, because I'm on a straight path, just where I need to be. This often scares me, because when it goes a long time without speaking, I fear that it's shut off or that something has gone technologically wrong. However, as soon as I need to turn onto a new road or take a new exit, it tells me in just the right amount of time.
For example, my GPS won't tell me to take action until I need to. It won't say, "turn left in 20 miles," because that would just be ridiculous, and would make me even more confused for showing me what was ahead before I was ready for it. When the time comes, though, in it's sweet British voice, it reassuringly speaks, "left turn ahead." In the same way, God doesn't show us what our life will be like in 10 years, because what will be important 10 years from now isn't important at this very moment. When the time comes, he'll tell us what action to take, but not until the time is right. When God seems to be silent about the future, perhaps it is because the road we are on now is the one we need to be on. Eventually, we will take new roads, but until then, we stay on the one we're currently traveling.
I don't know how many times I've taken wrong turns and gotten completely lost. However, each time I do, my Tom-Tom tells me to "turn around when possible." If I stubbornly refuse to do so, it then reroutes itself so that I can get back on the right track from the point that I have landed myself, no matter how far off track it may be. Lots of times, I worry that one wrong decision will completely put God's plan out of whack. How selfish is that? Do I really think that God is that simple? That he doesn't have the power to put me back of track, no matter how many wrong turns I've taken? God will always find me where I am. He will always reroute me back to where he wants me to be.
Why are GPS systems so much more reliable than me? (Well, other than the fact that I am horrible with directions?) Because they have a satellite signal from above. They see the whole when I can only see parts. I can only see what's happening in the present, and yet God knows my entire life story--past, present, and future. I don't need to see what's coming, because He does. He will tell me what I need to know, when I need to know it...but only in HIS timing, his perfect timing.
Anyone who even knows me well knows that I get lost very easily. Without my GPS, I'd probably be stuck somewhere in Canada right now. In the same way, I don't even want to think of where I would be without God's guidance and directions. Without his global positioning, I would truly be lost.
Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; seek his will in all that you do, and he will show you which paths to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6
'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.'
Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Life in cartoon motion
Sometimes, I wish I were a cartoon character.
Because cartoon characters can get away with wearing the exact same outfit everyday of their lives.
Hence, were I a cartoon charcter, I would not hate packing so much.
(That's another reason why I love working at camp.
I never have to decide what to wear. Because all of my shirts are identical.)
I feel like I'm always packing. I love traveling, but I hate packing. And I put it off as long as I can. Just like I'm doing now.
Packing in the winter is even worse, because you have to pack layers.
And I'm not sure if I'm ready for single-digit temperatures...
I will be spending the next two weeks in Kansas City.
Week One will be spent Christmas-ing with my family at my sister's apartment. (Don't tell me that Christmas-ing isn't a word, because bygolly, if the woman who sings "Merry Christmas Darling" can make up words and sing them on public radio, then I can use those words in sentences.)
Week Two will be spent...I really don't know where. At the International House of Prayer? I'm attending a conference called Onething. And staying with a friend who is housing about 20 people on top of the 10 who already inhabit her home. That should be fun. I'm excited!
Just look at that empty blue suitcase.
Sitting on my bed.
Mocking me.
Because cartoon characters can get away with wearing the exact same outfit everyday of their lives.
Hence, were I a cartoon charcter, I would not hate packing so much.
(That's another reason why I love working at camp.
I never have to decide what to wear. Because all of my shirts are identical.)
I feel like I'm always packing. I love traveling, but I hate packing. And I put it off as long as I can. Just like I'm doing now.
Packing in the winter is even worse, because you have to pack layers.
And I'm not sure if I'm ready for single-digit temperatures...
I will be spending the next two weeks in Kansas City.
Week One will be spent Christmas-ing with my family at my sister's apartment. (Don't tell me that Christmas-ing isn't a word, because bygolly, if the woman who sings "Merry Christmas Darling" can make up words and sing them on public radio, then I can use those words in sentences.)
Week Two will be spent...I really don't know where. At the International House of Prayer? I'm attending a conference called Onething. And staying with a friend who is housing about 20 people on top of the 10 who already inhabit her home. That should be fun. I'm excited!
Just look at that empty blue suitcase.
Sitting on my bed.
Mocking me.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Home for the Holidays
I failed my Geography final...
but still got an 87 in the class.
The pessimist would say, "Well dang. There goes that A."
The optimist would say, "I'm so good that I can bomb a final and STILL get a B in the class!"
Since I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist, I am choosing to say, "I miss living in a city with more than 3,000 people in it, because there is no place around here to get a good cup of coffee."
------
-I have already been home for three days.
-I have already gone to the Rice and Duck capital of the world/hunter's paradise, aka Stuttgart/Mac's.
-I have already spent wayyy too much time in my bed.
-I have already read/finished reading two books.
-I have already wrapped all my family's presents, including my own.
-I have already watched 4 horrible Hallmark Christmas movies.
-I have already realized that I won't really get to see any of my friends from home until after Christmas, because by the time most of them get home, I will be in Kansas City.
- I have already felt the need to "get out" and travel to Little Rock...
...and yet, I am loving and savoring every moment of my Christmas Break.
but still got an 87 in the class.
The pessimist would say, "Well dang. There goes that A."
The optimist would say, "I'm so good that I can bomb a final and STILL get a B in the class!"
Since I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist, I am choosing to say, "I miss living in a city with more than 3,000 people in it, because there is no place around here to get a good cup of coffee."
------
-I have already been home for three days.
-I have already gone to the Rice and Duck capital of the world/hunter's paradise, aka Stuttgart/Mac's.
-I have already spent wayyy too much time in my bed.
-I have already read/finished reading two books.
-I have already wrapped all my family's presents, including my own.
-I have already watched 4 horrible Hallmark Christmas movies.
-I have already realized that I won't really get to see any of my friends from home until after Christmas, because by the time most of them get home, I will be in Kansas City.
- I have already felt the need to "get out" and travel to Little Rock...
...and yet, I am loving and savoring every moment of my Christmas Break.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The dawn is breaking, a light shining through
I can see the light of this tunnel they call finals.
I have only one left tomorrow, and I'm estatic.
I shall not discuss how my tests have gone so far, because I've found that I am often and unreliable source, and even when I'm certain that I've failed a test, I could very well have made a B on it.
Let's just say I hope I'm a good gusser. Because I guessed on 55 of 60 Geography questions, and about 70 of 100 World Civ questions.
So much for the benefits of studying.
Oh look, I'm discussing finals after all. I'll stop here and spare you.
Difference Between High School and College #347:
In college, grades actually matter.
All four years of my high school career, I unecessarily worried myself with my GPA. For what? Five minutes of fame in front of 300 people and a misprinted position of "Salutatorian" in size 12 font on a cheezily-printed graduation program (I was SO Valedictorian). In reality, all you have to do in high school is pass. You can make straight Ds and still have a very successful colliegiate experience/career. In high school, grades are pretty much just there to determine how much or how little of a bum you are. In college, on the other hand, passing grades are required to a.) Keep scholarships that completely provide for your education, b.) continue your studies, and c.) get hired. But no pressure, right?
Differeence Between High School and College #348:
In collge, grades don't really matter anymore.
Right, no pressure. You see, in high school, grades determine not only your intellect, but also your social status. Starting in elementary school, you are either labelled as a "Smart Kid," a "Dumb Kid," or an "Average Kid." In collge, however, no one even knows what anyone's GPA is, and no one even cares. If you fail a class in high school, it is devestating. If you aren't promoted to the next year with the rest of your class, it could very well be comparable to the end of the world. In college? Shoot, failed classes are no big deal. Yeah, it's a shame that you've lost all that money and time and effort, but hey, things happen. Better luck next time, right? If you fail a class, people don't assume you're dumb; they assume they should never take the professor that failed you. At the end of the day, a GPA is just a number that, yes, may or may not determine your potential for a successful career. But if I've learned anything in the five months that I've been here, it's not to let school get in the way of college. Yeah yeah, I'm here for a diploma, but when I look back on my college years, I'm not going to be saying, "Boy, I wish I spent more time studying in the library." No, I'm going to be thankful for all the times I stayed up until 4 am to get doughnuts with friends when I should have been studying in the library. Yes, I do study, and yes, I do work hard to keep my scholarship, but college is no longer about grades. It's about relationships, and living the "best four years of my life" to the utmost fullest.
And that's my soapbox for the night.
I have only one left tomorrow, and I'm estatic.
I shall not discuss how my tests have gone so far, because I've found that I am often and unreliable source, and even when I'm certain that I've failed a test, I could very well have made a B on it.
Let's just say I hope I'm a good gusser. Because I guessed on 55 of 60 Geography questions, and about 70 of 100 World Civ questions.
So much for the benefits of studying.
Oh look, I'm discussing finals after all. I'll stop here and spare you.
Difference Between High School and College #347:
In college, grades actually matter.
All four years of my high school career, I unecessarily worried myself with my GPA. For what? Five minutes of fame in front of 300 people and a misprinted position of "Salutatorian" in size 12 font on a cheezily-printed graduation program (I was SO Valedictorian). In reality, all you have to do in high school is pass. You can make straight Ds and still have a very successful colliegiate experience/career. In high school, grades are pretty much just there to determine how much or how little of a bum you are. In college, on the other hand, passing grades are required to a.) Keep scholarships that completely provide for your education, b.) continue your studies, and c.) get hired. But no pressure, right?
Differeence Between High School and College #348:
In collge, grades don't really matter anymore.
Right, no pressure. You see, in high school, grades determine not only your intellect, but also your social status. Starting in elementary school, you are either labelled as a "Smart Kid," a "Dumb Kid," or an "Average Kid." In collge, however, no one even knows what anyone's GPA is, and no one even cares. If you fail a class in high school, it is devestating. If you aren't promoted to the next year with the rest of your class, it could very well be comparable to the end of the world. In college? Shoot, failed classes are no big deal. Yeah, it's a shame that you've lost all that money and time and effort, but hey, things happen. Better luck next time, right? If you fail a class, people don't assume you're dumb; they assume they should never take the professor that failed you. At the end of the day, a GPA is just a number that, yes, may or may not determine your potential for a successful career. But if I've learned anything in the five months that I've been here, it's not to let school get in the way of college. Yeah yeah, I'm here for a diploma, but when I look back on my college years, I'm not going to be saying, "Boy, I wish I spent more time studying in the library." No, I'm going to be thankful for all the times I stayed up until 4 am to get doughnuts with friends when I should have been studying in the library. Yes, I do study, and yes, I do work hard to keep my scholarship, but college is no longer about grades. It's about relationships, and living the "best four years of my life" to the utmost fullest.
And that's my soapbox for the night.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Final Countdown
My first-ever college final is in 45 minutes.
I'll admit that I'm completely terrified about my Comp II test. It's bad enough having my professor tear apart papers I spend weeks writing. I don't even want to know what she's going to think about 3 essays I have to write in 2 hours.
I'm not gonna lie. The woman completely intimidates me.
Dead Day was pretty productive. I spent 80% of it studying(/socializing) in the Parks and Recreation Building. I didn't even want to go in the library. Haha, no way.
Now, though, I've gotten completely burnt out on studying. I can't look at words for more than two minutes without going crazy. I still have 3 tests to study for after today. I do not like finals.
3 days. If I can only make it 3 days...
I'll admit that I'm completely terrified about my Comp II test. It's bad enough having my professor tear apart papers I spend weeks writing. I don't even want to know what she's going to think about 3 essays I have to write in 2 hours.
I'm not gonna lie. The woman completely intimidates me.
Dead Day was pretty productive. I spent 80% of it studying(/socializing) in the Parks and Recreation Building. I didn't even want to go in the library. Haha, no way.
Now, though, I've gotten completely burnt out on studying. I can't look at words for more than two minutes without going crazy. I still have 3 tests to study for after today. I do not like finals.
3 days. If I can only make it 3 days...
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thoughts
Five days are going to drag by too slowly, yet too quickly...
I don't feel prepared for finals at ALL.
I spent all yesterday working on my paper, so I didn't get much else done.
At least I've got that first draft out of the way, though.
I guess I'll rely on the thoughts of Deas Vail on Friday and Home on Saturday to keep me motivated.
My love for bluegrass is almost as passionate as my love for life itself.
My roommate hasn't slept in my room since we've been back from Thanksgiving.
I'm starting to feel like an only...student?
I've been reminded why I chose to "give up guys" this year...
I'm convinced that either there's one specific person who will undoubtedly be "the one,"
or I will not marry at all.
Right now I'm good with either option.
I don't feel prepared for finals at ALL.
I spent all yesterday working on my paper, so I didn't get much else done.
At least I've got that first draft out of the way, though.
I guess I'll rely on the thoughts of Deas Vail on Friday and Home on Saturday to keep me motivated.
My love for bluegrass is almost as passionate as my love for life itself.
My roommate hasn't slept in my room since we've been back from Thanksgiving.
I'm starting to feel like an only...student?
I've been reminded why I chose to "give up guys" this year...
I'm convinced that either there's one specific person who will undoubtedly be "the one,"
or I will not marry at all.
Right now I'm good with either option.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
YAY!
I am really excited.
Here's why:
To get an A in College Algebra, all I have to make on my final is at least a 66%.
To get a B in Geography, all I have to make on my final is a 62%.
To get an A in World Civ, all I have to make on my final is a 75%.
To get an A in film, all I pretty much have to do make the slightest bit of effort on my final.
I can totally do all of these.
I have no idea what I'll have in English, since my professor has provided me with little to no feedback all semseter.
If I don't make an A in "Tech 1001," my lame, pointless orientation class, I will be very angry.
Either way, I am relieved to know that as long as I put forth the right amount of effort, my scholarship is safe for this semester.
Phew.
Here's why:
To get an A in College Algebra, all I have to make on my final is at least a 66%.
To get a B in Geography, all I have to make on my final is a 62%.
To get an A in World Civ, all I have to make on my final is a 75%.
To get an A in film, all I pretty much have to do make the slightest bit of effort on my final.
I can totally do all of these.
I have no idea what I'll have in English, since my professor has provided me with little to no feedback all semseter.
If I don't make an A in "Tech 1001," my lame, pointless orientation class, I will be very angry.
Either way, I am relieved to know that as long as I put forth the right amount of effort, my scholarship is safe for this semester.
Phew.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Christmas, Camp, and Caleb
Despite the fact that I am only one week away from finals, and a paper deadline, I have done very little homework all day. Instead, I have found better ways to spend my time, such as napping, socializing, letting my sister interview me for her Religious Studies class, sending my friends encouaging emails, wasting my life on facebook, and most importantly, decorating my dorm room for Christmas.
Our suite door now has a sweet Chrismas wreath(yes, pun intended) to accompany the acorns with our names on them, along with my latest addition to the dry erase board "ChestNUTTs roasting on an open fire." Again, a pun is very much intended. (I live in Nutt Hall.)
Our counter/mirror area is adorned with garland and some weird red streamer that I found in my sister's box of Christmas dorm decor. Our room not only has a small 60s-esque silver Christmas tree, but also a glass bowl of Christmas ornaments, as well as Christmas balls hanging from the windows. It is quite cozy and festive. Just call me Martha Stewart.
I have been thinking a lot about camp lately (lately as in today.) I don't know if it was the dream I had about Brookhill last night, or the conversations I've had with camp friends today, or random looking-over of old church and staff-meeting notes, or the facebook albums of Turkey Day, or the fact that I just listened to "Ready Now" by Desperation Band and am now listening to "In Your Presense" by Charity Von. Probably a combination of all of the above. It's not so much that I wonder if I'll be back or not this summer...I do, but it's not really a big issue with me right now. I guess I've just been reliving memories, which makes me both happy and sad. I miss my fellow counselors. I miss my campers. I miss the incredible teaching of the camp directors.
A facebook comment from one of my friends made me realize that although he became one of my favorite people this summer, I really hadn't really held a conversation with him since the day we all parted at Chili's after Camp 8. And then I started remembering that day, which was probably one of the saddest and hardest experiences of my life, knowing that we were all going to different cities and different states and different continents even...three of us knowing that it was very likely that we would never all be counselors together again, or even counselors at all. My love for these four major people makes me miss them all terribly. I know that God has put us all in different places for different reasons, and it makes me so happy to hear about their lives...yet still, I wish that Africa and Louisiana and Fayetville and Russellville could all clash together and from Afyetanaville or something.
On a note of less contemplation, tomorrow is the Wesley Banquet.
And my date and I are going to look hot.
Our suite door now has a sweet Chrismas wreath(yes, pun intended) to accompany the acorns with our names on them, along with my latest addition to the dry erase board "ChestNUTTs roasting on an open fire." Again, a pun is very much intended. (I live in Nutt Hall.)
Our counter/mirror area is adorned with garland and some weird red streamer that I found in my sister's box of Christmas dorm decor. Our room not only has a small 60s-esque silver Christmas tree, but also a glass bowl of Christmas ornaments, as well as Christmas balls hanging from the windows. It is quite cozy and festive. Just call me Martha Stewart.
I have been thinking a lot about camp lately (lately as in today.) I don't know if it was the dream I had about Brookhill last night, or the conversations I've had with camp friends today, or random looking-over of old church and staff-meeting notes, or the facebook albums of Turkey Day, or the fact that I just listened to "Ready Now" by Desperation Band and am now listening to "In Your Presense" by Charity Von. Probably a combination of all of the above. It's not so much that I wonder if I'll be back or not this summer...I do, but it's not really a big issue with me right now. I guess I've just been reliving memories, which makes me both happy and sad. I miss my fellow counselors. I miss my campers. I miss the incredible teaching of the camp directors.
A facebook comment from one of my friends made me realize that although he became one of my favorite people this summer, I really hadn't really held a conversation with him since the day we all parted at Chili's after Camp 8. And then I started remembering that day, which was probably one of the saddest and hardest experiences of my life, knowing that we were all going to different cities and different states and different continents even...three of us knowing that it was very likely that we would never all be counselors together again, or even counselors at all. My love for these four major people makes me miss them all terribly. I know that God has put us all in different places for different reasons, and it makes me so happy to hear about their lives...yet still, I wish that Africa and Louisiana and Fayetville and Russellville could all clash together and from Afyetanaville or something.
On a note of less contemplation, tomorrow is the Wesley Banquet.
And my date and I are going to look hot.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Chloraseptic Blues
I woke up with a scratchy throat this morning.
I can't be getting sick again.
It's not possible. I was sick less than a month ago.
This is not cool.
I have 2 group presentations tomorrow.
And then a formal banquet on Wednesday.
And then finals, and a paper to write...
Here we go again.
On the bright side, since there is no Age to Age today, I've decided to use the time to do homework and take a nap. Mmhmm...
I can't be getting sick again.
It's not possible. I was sick less than a month ago.
This is not cool.
I have 2 group presentations tomorrow.
And then a formal banquet on Wednesday.
And then finals, and a paper to write...
Here we go again.
On the bright side, since there is no Age to Age today, I've decided to use the time to do homework and take a nap. Mmhmm...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
soul dance
Now forever Yours I'll stand
in love never to end-
to call You more than Lord;
Glorious friend.
So I'll throw my life upon all that You are
because I know You gave it all for me.
When all else fades my soul will dance with You
where the love lasts forever.
in love never to end-
to call You more than Lord;
Glorious friend.
So I'll throw my life upon all that You are
because I know You gave it all for me.
When all else fades my soul will dance with You
where the love lasts forever.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
You can't be serious.
The jubliation is gone.
I just found out that I have to write another paper over Thanksgiving break for the same class that I've be a slave to for the past two weekends.
Grrrrrr.
So much for that feeling of relief.
Dear God,
I'm asking you again.
Either hook me up to marry this kid,
or stop showing me how awesome he is.
Actually, don't stop.
Because I like it.
I know you're laughing right now,
your hopeful daughter
Wait. I just got back from Chapel. And not only did we have an incredible potluck, we also had a message on giving thanks in all circumstances.
So I will do so.
I am thankful that I am 3/4 done with Comp II.
I am thankful that God has gifited me in the area of writing, even when I feel like I'm terrible.
I am thankful that though this class is dreadful, it is pretty interesting, and I'm doing pretty well.
I am thankful for the male gender.
I am thankful for my attraction to the male gender.
I am thankful for the boy you have recently brought into my life, although he is not the boy that I have put on a pedestal.
I am thankful for the boy that I have put on a pedestal, because he encourages me and makes me laugh, and will make a good husband to somebody someday, even if it isn't me.
The end.
I just found out that I have to write another paper over Thanksgiving break for the same class that I've be a slave to for the past two weekends.
Grrrrrr.
So much for that feeling of relief.
Dear God,
I'm asking you again.
Either hook me up to marry this kid,
or stop showing me how awesome he is.
Actually, don't stop.
Because I like it.
I know you're laughing right now,
your hopeful daughter
Wait. I just got back from Chapel. And not only did we have an incredible potluck, we also had a message on giving thanks in all circumstances.
So I will do so.
I am thankful that I am 3/4 done with Comp II.
I am thankful that God has gifited me in the area of writing, even when I feel like I'm terrible.
I am thankful that though this class is dreadful, it is pretty interesting, and I'm doing pretty well.
I am thankful for the male gender.
I am thankful for my attraction to the male gender.
I am thankful for the boy you have recently brought into my life, although he is not the boy that I have put on a pedestal.
I am thankful for the boy that I have put on a pedestal, because he encourages me and makes me laugh, and will make a good husband to somebody someday, even if it isn't me.
The end.
!
I'm so happy I could sprint across this campus.
AHHHH!
Writing for 6 straight hours will make you loopy.
The end of that 6th straight hour will make you enthusiastically jubilant.
I am twirling in circles around the room I haven't left all day.
Hooray!
AHHHH!
Writing for 6 straight hours will make you loopy.
The end of that 6th straight hour will make you enthusiastically jubilant.
I am twirling in circles around the room I haven't left all day.
Hooray!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friends and Frustration
Nope.
The English Passion has not returned.
Because it is causing me to spend my Saturday night writing 3 essays and editing a paper,
I'm pretty sick of Composition II.
This is making me miserable.
I need Thanksgiving break.
Now.
On a more optimistic note, I got to see my best friend and another close friend today, both of whom I hadn't seen since July!
All the more increasing my need for Thanksgiving break.
I wish my homework would complete itself.
2 days. PTL.
The English Passion has not returned.
Because it is causing me to spend my Saturday night writing 3 essays and editing a paper,
I'm pretty sick of Composition II.
This is making me miserable.
I need Thanksgiving break.
Now.
On a more optimistic note, I got to see my best friend and another close friend today, both of whom I hadn't seen since July!
All the more increasing my need for Thanksgiving break.
I wish my homework would complete itself.
2 days. PTL.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I need a (Thanksgiving) Break
It's only 11:15, and I am way tired.
Which is not cool, because although I've been productive, I still have a lot to accompish tonight.
I'm starting to slightly fret about grades...
I have a roommate for Fall Semester of '09...
and this makes me really happy. :)
There's a boy...
and I'm still not sure how this makes me feel.
I didn't ask for it, but I'm not complaining either.
Being pursed is an odd feeling.
I'm not used to it, and I'm not sure how to react to it in my current situation.
Not to mention my still-remaining 9 months of temporary celibacy.
Huh.
Only two people really read this blog, and I know both of their reactions.
Sam is slightly excited for me and thinking, "Mmm. Man..."
Abby is thinking, "Georgia, you're a freak."
I have no room to argue with either reaction.
Which is not cool, because although I've been productive, I still have a lot to accompish tonight.
I'm starting to slightly fret about grades...
I have a roommate for Fall Semester of '09...
and this makes me really happy. :)
There's a boy...
and I'm still not sure how this makes me feel.
I didn't ask for it, but I'm not complaining either.
Being pursed is an odd feeling.
I'm not used to it, and I'm not sure how to react to it in my current situation.
Not to mention my still-remaining 9 months of temporary celibacy.
Huh.
Only two people really read this blog, and I know both of their reactions.
Sam is slightly excited for me and thinking, "Mmm. Man..."
Abby is thinking, "Georgia, you're a freak."
I have no room to argue with either reaction.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Wishing my life away...
I-40 beckons.
Best friends, family, Branson, and Christmas music call my name.
8 days of papers, tests, and group projects is WAY too long.
Dear favorite holiday,
Please hurry.
Best friends, family, Branson, and Christmas music call my name.
8 days of papers, tests, and group projects is WAY too long.
Dear favorite holiday,
Please hurry.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Where for art thou, English Passion?
One paper down, one to go!
I finally finished my paper on Romeo and Juliet, and for the first time all semester, I'm actually pretty pleased with my work. It's not superfantastic, but I think it's pretty good.
It's crazy how different college is from high school. In high school, I would get done with a big paper or an essay, proofread it, and think, "Dang I'm good!" Then, I would get the paper back with an A+, and repeat the same words again. I always loved my writing like a proud Momma loves her children.
Well, apparently that changed once I enrolled in Comp II. My professor is great, but sometimes I think she's impossible to please, and she hasn't yet given us any input on our work, or even given us back our old papers. About a month ago, I wrote a paper themed on insecurity of girls based on two short stories. I thought, "Man, I work at Brookhill. I'm an expert on insecurity. I'll knock this outta the water." Well, by the time I had sent in my second draft, I was sick of the stupid paper, and I still have no idea how I did on it.
For the past month or so, I've gotten so burnt out on English and writing, which is NOT cool, considering it's the backbone of my major. However, yesterday, my professor told me and two other people to see her after class, where she informed us that because we so darn good and put forth so much effort, we had been exempt from all further discussion question homework for the semester, and we would recieve 100% for that portion of our grade.
Sweet.
Maybe I'm not in such a rut after all.
I had no itention for this post to be so long.
I guess I'm just really enthusiastic to NOT be writing stylistically, or about how Romeo and Juliet are ignorant fools.
It's nice.
Well, now that I've written 6 pages on tragic young death, I'm off to write 10 pages about genocide in Africa...even more uplifting.
I finally finished my paper on Romeo and Juliet, and for the first time all semester, I'm actually pretty pleased with my work. It's not superfantastic, but I think it's pretty good.
It's crazy how different college is from high school. In high school, I would get done with a big paper or an essay, proofread it, and think, "Dang I'm good!" Then, I would get the paper back with an A+, and repeat the same words again. I always loved my writing like a proud Momma loves her children.
Well, apparently that changed once I enrolled in Comp II. My professor is great, but sometimes I think she's impossible to please, and she hasn't yet given us any input on our work, or even given us back our old papers. About a month ago, I wrote a paper themed on insecurity of girls based on two short stories. I thought, "Man, I work at Brookhill. I'm an expert on insecurity. I'll knock this outta the water." Well, by the time I had sent in my second draft, I was sick of the stupid paper, and I still have no idea how I did on it.
For the past month or so, I've gotten so burnt out on English and writing, which is NOT cool, considering it's the backbone of my major. However, yesterday, my professor told me and two other people to see her after class, where she informed us that because we so darn good and put forth so much effort, we had been exempt from all further discussion question homework for the semester, and we would recieve 100% for that portion of our grade.
Sweet.
Maybe I'm not in such a rut after all.
I had no itention for this post to be so long.
I guess I'm just really enthusiastic to NOT be writing stylistically, or about how Romeo and Juliet are ignorant fools.
It's nice.
Well, now that I've written 6 pages on tragic young death, I'm off to write 10 pages about genocide in Africa...even more uplifting.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Tradition?
Apparently it is my new tradition to only post on Sunday nights.
I could write about how one of my good friends won Tech Idol, or how Tech Homecoming festivities are pretty lame, or how camping on Mt. Nebo in freezing temperatures is fantastic, or about how I've finally found a church I really like, or about how crazy this week is going to be. But I won't talk about these things, because I'm listening to Shawn McDonald, and he's making me sleepy.
This is the earliest I've gone to bed in a long time. How cool.
And I don't feel gulity, because I was productive this afternoon.
Ohhh yeahhh.
I could write about how one of my good friends won Tech Idol, or how Tech Homecoming festivities are pretty lame, or how camping on Mt. Nebo in freezing temperatures is fantastic, or about how I've finally found a church I really like, or about how crazy this week is going to be. But I won't talk about these things, because I'm listening to Shawn McDonald, and he's making me sleepy.
This is the earliest I've gone to bed in a long time. How cool.
And I don't feel gulity, because I was productive this afternoon.
Ohhh yeahhh.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Holy Shmoly
Life was not this crazy 24 hours ago.
I am suddenly in need of an all-nighter.
But, I have to drive home tomorrow night, and the combination of an all-nighter hangover with dark interstates and being alone for 2 hours in a motor vehicle does not sound like the safest situation.
So, I'll pull an all-nighter at home tomorrow night.
Wait, no, I have to drive back to Russellville the next morning.
See above paragraph, minus the dark part.
I see no possible solution.
Yay college.
I am suddenly in need of an all-nighter.
But, I have to drive home tomorrow night, and the combination of an all-nighter hangover with dark interstates and being alone for 2 hours in a motor vehicle does not sound like the safest situation.
So, I'll pull an all-nighter at home tomorrow night.
Wait, no, I have to drive back to Russellville the next morning.
See above paragraph, minus the dark part.
I see no possible solution.
Yay college.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
For the moments I feel faint
As a female, and an emotional one, I used to cry quite often.
But I've noticed that as the years go by, I cry less and less.
I haven't bawled since about April.
I cried a little bit the night I graduated....before, during, and after the ceremony.
I teared up during Camp 8...believe it or not, during graduation, during the video, and at closing ceremony.
But since then, not one tear has been shed.
However, tonight has come close.
Hearing about the UCA shootings...35 minutes from my own campus.
Talking to close friends who attend UCA.
Shaking at the thought of knowing that they could have been killed...
Writing my friend who is spending her year in Africa.
Thinking about how God is using her each day in Africa.
Telling her about how God is using me each day in Russellville.
Talking about memories.
Writing scriptures meant to encourage her, but end up encouraging me just as well.
Knowing that she's there, and I'm here, and God is everywhere.
Writing this post.
I am overwhelmed.
But I've noticed that as the years go by, I cry less and less.
I haven't bawled since about April.
I cried a little bit the night I graduated....before, during, and after the ceremony.
I teared up during Camp 8...believe it or not, during graduation, during the video, and at closing ceremony.
But since then, not one tear has been shed.
However, tonight has come close.
Hearing about the UCA shootings...35 minutes from my own campus.
Talking to close friends who attend UCA.
Shaking at the thought of knowing that they could have been killed...
Writing my friend who is spending her year in Africa.
Thinking about how God is using her each day in Africa.
Telling her about how God is using me each day in Russellville.
Talking about memories.
Writing scriptures meant to encourage her, but end up encouraging me just as well.
Knowing that she's there, and I'm here, and God is everywhere.
Writing this post.
I am overwhelmed.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
It's a Love Story, baby just say yes
College is kind of like Valentine's Day, only all year long.
They should just call it Singles Awareness Years.
Everyone's getting engaged left and right, and my friends who aren't already in relationships are finding flings among eachother. Pressure is put on to find "the one," because the way most people view it, if you don't find your mate in college, you're pretty much going to be single for the rest of your life.
Lately, as I've sat by and watched friends flirt and listened to proposal stories and hear my friends talk about how they wish they had boyfriends and girlfriends, I've surprisingly found an increasing contentment of my single state. The more I continue to be a mere spectator in the world of romance, the more thankful I am to do so.
I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want a relationship unless it has great potential to lead to marriage, and right now, I haven't even met a guy here that I can call a good friend. And I'm ok with that. My ideal ways of dating and courtship are pretty weird compared to most people's, but I'm going to stick to them, because I believe they can exist.
I'm not held down by the oppression of this society's view of romance. Because I've tried to use it to fill voids in my life, and through failure I found that nothing can satisfy but God alone. No perfect man exisits...but I have found the only true Knight in Shining Armor. My soul hungers and aches for love, and it is filled by the love that I experiene with Jesus Christ. The more I desire love, the more I am filled with it. The more long to be persued, the more I find a mutual romance with Him. And the more love I am shown, the more I want to show it to others.
Do I want to be married some day? Definitely.
Will I be? Who knows.
There may or may not be a guy out there for me.
I may or may not meet him during my college years.
I may or may not already know him.
He may or may not exist.
If he does, he'll come into play when we're both ready.
Until then, I'll continue to pursue my first and only love...
We were created to love.
We were created to live.
We were created to live love.
They should just call it Singles Awareness Years.
Everyone's getting engaged left and right, and my friends who aren't already in relationships are finding flings among eachother. Pressure is put on to find "the one," because the way most people view it, if you don't find your mate in college, you're pretty much going to be single for the rest of your life.
Lately, as I've sat by and watched friends flirt and listened to proposal stories and hear my friends talk about how they wish they had boyfriends and girlfriends, I've surprisingly found an increasing contentment of my single state. The more I continue to be a mere spectator in the world of romance, the more thankful I am to do so.
I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want a relationship unless it has great potential to lead to marriage, and right now, I haven't even met a guy here that I can call a good friend. And I'm ok with that. My ideal ways of dating and courtship are pretty weird compared to most people's, but I'm going to stick to them, because I believe they can exist.
I'm not held down by the oppression of this society's view of romance. Because I've tried to use it to fill voids in my life, and through failure I found that nothing can satisfy but God alone. No perfect man exisits...but I have found the only true Knight in Shining Armor. My soul hungers and aches for love, and it is filled by the love that I experiene with Jesus Christ. The more I desire love, the more I am filled with it. The more long to be persued, the more I find a mutual romance with Him. And the more love I am shown, the more I want to show it to others.
Do I want to be married some day? Definitely.
Will I be? Who knows.
There may or may not be a guy out there for me.
I may or may not meet him during my college years.
I may or may not already know him.
He may or may not exist.
If he does, he'll come into play when we're both ready.
Until then, I'll continue to pursue my first and only love...
We were created to love.
We were created to live.
We were created to live love.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Seriously?
Dear God,
Please stop making certain people so amazing
unless you intend for me to marry them.
Thanks.
Please stop making certain people so amazing
unless you intend for me to marry them.
Thanks.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Mmhmm...
Campus is gorgeous with the fall colors.
I have an interview for Camp War Eagle tomorrow.
Age to Age kids are tougher to break through than even the toughest Brookhill kids.
But making a fool of myself at the Lock & Dam park with a 12 year old is so much fun.
My three Henderson friends from home are coming up for the game on Saturday. :)
Next Thursday I will be seeing David Crowder in Little Rock. :):)
Next Friday I will be traveling to Fayeteville. :):):)
World Civ Midterm on Thursday, Algebra and Film tests next week, Map quizzes, research papers, rough drafts, group projects...
Campus is gorgeous with the falls colors.
Swell.
I have an interview for Camp War Eagle tomorrow.
Age to Age kids are tougher to break through than even the toughest Brookhill kids.
But making a fool of myself at the Lock & Dam park with a 12 year old is so much fun.
My three Henderson friends from home are coming up for the game on Saturday. :)
Next Thursday I will be seeing David Crowder in Little Rock. :):)
Next Friday I will be traveling to Fayeteville. :):):)
World Civ Midterm on Thursday, Algebra and Film tests next week, Map quizzes, research papers, rough drafts, group projects...
Campus is gorgeous with the falls colors.
Swell.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Put away my flesh and bone
I feel like everything has been out of order this week.
I'm slacking.
I'm turning to others when I should be turning to You.
I'm allowing what were once close friendships to crumble, and I don't feel bad about it.
I feel bad about the fact that I don't feel bad about letting what were once close friendships crumble.
I'm allowing insecurities to affect me.
I'm living for myself.
And I hate it.
On the outside, I'm consistent in You.
On the inside, I'm consistent in You.
But on that subconcious second plane of the inside, I'm putting You off.
And it's throwing my whole world out of whack.
Here we go again.
Lord, undo me.
I'm slacking.
I'm turning to others when I should be turning to You.
I'm allowing what were once close friendships to crumble, and I don't feel bad about it.
I feel bad about the fact that I don't feel bad about letting what were once close friendships crumble.
I'm allowing insecurities to affect me.
I'm living for myself.
And I hate it.
On the outside, I'm consistent in You.
On the inside, I'm consistent in You.
But on that subconcious second plane of the inside, I'm putting You off.
And it's throwing my whole world out of whack.
Here we go again.
Lord, undo me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Naked Disappointment
Today I found out that I made an 86% on my last College Algebra test, giving me an 84 B in the class! (This is quite the accomplishment from my recent failure of College Algebra last semester.)
In celebration of my jubilation, I decided that my success had earned me a bottle of Naked Juice. It was the only thing that motivated me while sitting through yet another hour and and 20 minutes of math. Finally, I walked all the way across campus to the convience store only to find that they had closed early today. In the words of the little old lady who works there, "I'm sorry, darlin', the little girl who relieves me is nowhere to be found, and I have to pick up my grandkids from school."
Poo. No biggie. I'll just walk over to the bookstore and buy some there.
Except the bookstore is currently out of Naked Juice.
Now bummed about my Naked absense, I checked my mailbox to find a letter from little Erick, the African kid I sponser.
His drawings are getting really elaborate these days, and he's learning to color in the lines.
That's when I realized that the price I would have paid for one bottle of Naked Juice is the same amount that Erick's family makes in a day's income.
And yet, Erick is still one of the happiest kids I know.
"Erick and his family members love you so much are they always pray for you. Erick will soon be going back to school for his third term, and he is so excited to go back!"
His family of six is struggling to make ends meet in the core of the Food Crisis, and yet they are praying for me.
I am paying for Erick's education, and he is grateful.
The government is paying for mine, and I complain about my upcoming papers and exams.
School, like Naked Juice, is a privlige, and I should not take it for granted.
I am blessed.
In celebration of my jubilation, I decided that my success had earned me a bottle of Naked Juice. It was the only thing that motivated me while sitting through yet another hour and and 20 minutes of math. Finally, I walked all the way across campus to the convience store only to find that they had closed early today. In the words of the little old lady who works there, "I'm sorry, darlin', the little girl who relieves me is nowhere to be found, and I have to pick up my grandkids from school."
Poo. No biggie. I'll just walk over to the bookstore and buy some there.
Except the bookstore is currently out of Naked Juice.
Now bummed about my Naked absense, I checked my mailbox to find a letter from little Erick, the African kid I sponser.
His drawings are getting really elaborate these days, and he's learning to color in the lines.
That's when I realized that the price I would have paid for one bottle of Naked Juice is the same amount that Erick's family makes in a day's income.
And yet, Erick is still one of the happiest kids I know.
"Erick and his family members love you so much are they always pray for you. Erick will soon be going back to school for his third term, and he is so excited to go back!"
His family of six is struggling to make ends meet in the core of the Food Crisis, and yet they are praying for me.
I am paying for Erick's education, and he is grateful.
The government is paying for mine, and I complain about my upcoming papers and exams.
School, like Naked Juice, is a privlige, and I should not take it for granted.
I am blessed.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Dear Georgia,
It is not up to you.
It is not up to them.
It is up to Me.
If I want you there, I will make a way.
If I do not, then I have something better in mind.
Don't think too highly of yourself, but do not underestimate yourself, either.
Most importantly, do not underestimate the power of the God of the Universe, the Great I Am, the Lion of Judah, Yaweh, Jahovah Jireh.
Lean not on your own understanding, because your flesh is not a very good crutch.
Instead, trust in Me with all your heart.
Look to Me in all you do, and I promise that I will place you where I want you.
Don't worry. Just keep praying.
I love you, I hear you, and I want want what is best for you.
Just trust me.
Yours for enternity,
God
It is not up to them.
It is up to Me.
If I want you there, I will make a way.
If I do not, then I have something better in mind.
Don't think too highly of yourself, but do not underestimate yourself, either.
Most importantly, do not underestimate the power of the God of the Universe, the Great I Am, the Lion of Judah, Yaweh, Jahovah Jireh.
Lean not on your own understanding, because your flesh is not a very good crutch.
Instead, trust in Me with all your heart.
Look to Me in all you do, and I promise that I will place you where I want you.
Don't worry. Just keep praying.
I love you, I hear you, and I want want what is best for you.
Just trust me.
Yours for enternity,
God
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Lessons from Alanis
Why is my "blog" so ridiculously named?
I'll tell you.
If you have never listened to the classic tunes of Alanis Morrisette, you have missed out on a lot in life. That woman has gotten me through tough times. Omitting certain words and phrases, there are many lessons to be learned from Alanis's songs. Let's start with my personal favorite, "Thank You." My favorite bit of the lyrics says,
"How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?"
Of course, the reference of dangling carrots refers to the literal carrots dangled above the horses back in the day. Many people use this phrase in a negative way; something dangled in front of you only to be taken away. A tease; a false hope; in the words of Emily Dickinson, a thing with feathers. However, I like to take a different perspective.
Why were the carrots were dangled in front of horses? To motivate them to keep walking, of course. What tired horse wants to haul a wagon three times his weight with no reward? The carrot gives him hope; a reason to keep going.
1 Corinthians 4:16-18
That is why we never give up. Though are bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed each day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long, yet they produce for us great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on the things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
Sometimes, I just want to give up. I have learned that college can be completely overwhelming, and sometimes I just want to quit. However, I'm learning to trust that if God's plan for me really includes teaching, then I'll have to pass college algebra. If I have to pass college algebra in order to teach, God will help me do it. It may not be easy, and I may have to take it three times, but the transparent dangling carrots of awkward, beautiful middle school faces keep me trying. When entire weekends are consumed by Midterms and papers, I will fix my gaze on my goal. Though I am sleep deprieved and stressed, I do not allow it to consume me. Instead, I run will my head held high, eyes fixed enthusiastically on the carrots in front of me.
Philippians 3:14
I keep pressing on to reach the end of the race and recieve the heavenly prize through which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us.
Tune in next time for "Hand In My Pocket" and "You Learn." :)
I'll tell you.
If you have never listened to the classic tunes of Alanis Morrisette, you have missed out on a lot in life. That woman has gotten me through tough times. Omitting certain words and phrases, there are many lessons to be learned from Alanis's songs. Let's start with my personal favorite, "Thank You." My favorite bit of the lyrics says,
"How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?"
Of course, the reference of dangling carrots refers to the literal carrots dangled above the horses back in the day. Many people use this phrase in a negative way; something dangled in front of you only to be taken away. A tease; a false hope; in the words of Emily Dickinson, a thing with feathers. However, I like to take a different perspective.
Why were the carrots were dangled in front of horses? To motivate them to keep walking, of course. What tired horse wants to haul a wagon three times his weight with no reward? The carrot gives him hope; a reason to keep going.
1 Corinthians 4:16-18
That is why we never give up. Though are bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed each day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long, yet they produce for us great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on the things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
Sometimes, I just want to give up. I have learned that college can be completely overwhelming, and sometimes I just want to quit. However, I'm learning to trust that if God's plan for me really includes teaching, then I'll have to pass college algebra. If I have to pass college algebra in order to teach, God will help me do it. It may not be easy, and I may have to take it three times, but the transparent dangling carrots of awkward, beautiful middle school faces keep me trying. When entire weekends are consumed by Midterms and papers, I will fix my gaze on my goal. Though I am sleep deprieved and stressed, I do not allow it to consume me. Instead, I run will my head held high, eyes fixed enthusiastically on the carrots in front of me.
Philippians 3:14
I keep pressing on to reach the end of the race and recieve the heavenly prize through which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us.
Tune in next time for "Hand In My Pocket" and "You Learn." :)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Psalm 63 and other 1 a.m. thoughts
O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
My whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands in prayer to you.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy!
I lie awake thinking of you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
---------------
Lord, you are more precious than silver
Lord, you are more costly than gold
Lord, you are more beautiful than diamonds
and nothing I desire compares to you
Georgia's version:
Lord, you are more important than my selfishness
Lord, you are more worthwhile than guys
Lord, you are more reliable than my plans
so why should I desire anything but you?
---------------
I want to know you better than I do;
relieve me from myself,
bring me into you.
I want to know you better than I do;
oh, relieve me, lead me, bring me into you.
-Jennifer Knapp
------------------
I will run, I will run...all my days are yours.
I will run, because you are all I am living for.
My life is a love song to you.
-Jason Morant
------------------
Love so amazing,
so divine,
demands my soul,
my life,
my all.
-Ga
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
My whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands in prayer to you.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy!
I lie awake thinking of you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
---------------
Lord, you are more precious than silver
Lord, you are more costly than gold
Lord, you are more beautiful than diamonds
and nothing I desire compares to you
Georgia's version:
Lord, you are more important than my selfishness
Lord, you are more worthwhile than guys
Lord, you are more reliable than my plans
so why should I desire anything but you?
---------------
I want to know you better than I do;
relieve me from myself,
bring me into you.
I want to know you better than I do;
oh, relieve me, lead me, bring me into you.
-Jennifer Knapp
------------------
I will run, I will run...all my days are yours.
I will run, because you are all I am living for.
My life is a love song to you.
-Jason Morant
------------------
Love so amazing,
so divine,
demands my soul,
my life,
my all.
-Ga
Monday, September 29, 2008
"Don't leave us in complacency, God."
I've become too comfortable.
For the past four months, I've had the great blessing of constant Christian surroundings. There was Highpoint, and there was Brookhill, and there's been Wesley and church and so on. The thought of multiple worship services in a week's time would have completely put me into shock this time a year ago. My sources were limited at home, and here they are endless.
And yet, I've become so used to the water that I don't want to get out and feel the cold air.
I've recently realized that I've become too complacent in my spiritual walk with God. Too satisfied with what I have, when I should be yearning for more. Sure, I'm growing, and I'm practicing what I preach...but what fruit am I bearing? Who is coming to know Jesus because I know Jesus? Where is my compassion for those who don't know him? Why am I not sharing my passion? Because I'm scared? Because I'm afraid of what people will think of me? Because I'm lazy? Because I'm comfortable?
I want to step out of that comfort zone; to break down that spritual Christain bubble that I've formed around myself and my Christian friends. I don't want to be satisfied. I want a desire for more. A desire for growth. A desire for a greater passion. A desire for them.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power, love, and self-disciple.
2 Timothy 1:7
For the past four months, I've had the great blessing of constant Christian surroundings. There was Highpoint, and there was Brookhill, and there's been Wesley and church and so on. The thought of multiple worship services in a week's time would have completely put me into shock this time a year ago. My sources were limited at home, and here they are endless.
And yet, I've become so used to the water that I don't want to get out and feel the cold air.
I've recently realized that I've become too complacent in my spiritual walk with God. Too satisfied with what I have, when I should be yearning for more. Sure, I'm growing, and I'm practicing what I preach...but what fruit am I bearing? Who is coming to know Jesus because I know Jesus? Where is my compassion for those who don't know him? Why am I not sharing my passion? Because I'm scared? Because I'm afraid of what people will think of me? Because I'm lazy? Because I'm comfortable?
I want to step out of that comfort zone; to break down that spritual Christain bubble that I've formed around myself and my Christian friends. I don't want to be satisfied. I want a desire for more. A desire for growth. A desire for a greater passion. A desire for them.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power, love, and self-disciple.
2 Timothy 1:7
Monday, September 22, 2008
Maps of Russia excite me
Things I never expected to do in college:
1. Sleep a full 8-hours a day, including mandatory power-naps
2. Make a sandwhich on my $2,000 laptop
3. Forget that I was here to gain an education
4. Work out on a consistant, regular basis
5. Skip meals without realizing it
6. Become addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper
7. Become shamelessly reliant on Vault for 8 am classes
8. Be alone so much, yet so little
9. Spend over $300 to make football players feel good about themsevles
10. Become faithfully devoted to not a Baptist, but a Methodist-founded organization
11. Care so little about home
12. Miss home so much
13. Get along so well, and live with, a person so completely different from myself
14. Find such amazing friends within the first few weeks
15. Have no interest in finding a boyfriend
16. Yet still fall head over heels in a relationship far beyond what any boy could give me.
What I did expect to do in college:
1. Make a list of things I never expected to do in college to procrastinate studying.
1. Sleep a full 8-hours a day, including mandatory power-naps
2. Make a sandwhich on my $2,000 laptop
3. Forget that I was here to gain an education
4. Work out on a consistant, regular basis
5. Skip meals without realizing it
6. Become addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper
7. Become shamelessly reliant on Vault for 8 am classes
8. Be alone so much, yet so little
9. Spend over $300 to make football players feel good about themsevles
10. Become faithfully devoted to not a Baptist, but a Methodist-founded organization
11. Care so little about home
12. Miss home so much
13. Get along so well, and live with, a person so completely different from myself
14. Find such amazing friends within the first few weeks
15. Have no interest in finding a boyfriend
16. Yet still fall head over heels in a relationship far beyond what any boy could give me.
What I did expect to do in college:
1. Make a list of things I never expected to do in college to procrastinate studying.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Yes, I'm the girl who stunk up the 3rd floor...
This morning, I learned that my thermos is not microwaveable.
Unfortunately, I also learned about diffusion.
Sorry, guys.
Unfortunately, I also learned about diffusion.
Sorry, guys.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I'm Excited!
It's pretty sad how happy I am to start this new "blog."
But it doesn't take much to excite me, so I guess its not so sad after all.
I've had the urge to journal several times since I've started school. I've just never gotten around to it. I used to write in a xanga that no one read, and a livejournal that random people I didn't know personally read. Xanga was getting old (I've had it since the 9th grade...), and livejournal was getting too personal, so I decided to copy my friend Sam and create a...blogthing?
I'm sure very few people will read what I write in here, but that doesn't really matter, because I don't write to impress others. I write for catharsis and entertainment and prayer and reflection.
Which brings me back to my excitement. God has done some awesome things in my life lately. Or better yet, I've finally noticed that God has done awesome things that He's been doing all along. My God is so faithful, and I'm trying my hardest to return the favor.
I've grown more in the past four months than I have at any time in my Christian walk. Reading over my most recent Xanga entries (most recent being about 7 months old), I actually felt ashamed of the person I was less than a year ago. Last year wasn't the best year for me, and I let my problems control my actions and my attitudes. Spiritually, I was not where I should have been, and therefore my reactions towards situations can from my selfishness, and were immature. Thankfully, there is always room for growth and maturity, and thought I didn't realize it at the time, it was well needed.
Perhaps that's another entry.
Reasons Why Wednesdays are Wonderful:
1. No class until noon
2. Freshman Ministry Team
3. Followed by the tradition of Taco Bell
4. And 9:06 Worship
5. Followed by the tradition of Pop-Ice
6. And preparation for Thursday's weekly World Civ. test.
Right...
But it doesn't take much to excite me, so I guess its not so sad after all.
I've had the urge to journal several times since I've started school. I've just never gotten around to it. I used to write in a xanga that no one read, and a livejournal that random people I didn't know personally read. Xanga was getting old (I've had it since the 9th grade...), and livejournal was getting too personal, so I decided to copy my friend Sam and create a...blogthing?
I'm sure very few people will read what I write in here, but that doesn't really matter, because I don't write to impress others. I write for catharsis and entertainment and prayer and reflection.
Which brings me back to my excitement. God has done some awesome things in my life lately. Or better yet, I've finally noticed that God has done awesome things that He's been doing all along. My God is so faithful, and I'm trying my hardest to return the favor.
I've grown more in the past four months than I have at any time in my Christian walk. Reading over my most recent Xanga entries (most recent being about 7 months old), I actually felt ashamed of the person I was less than a year ago. Last year wasn't the best year for me, and I let my problems control my actions and my attitudes. Spiritually, I was not where I should have been, and therefore my reactions towards situations can from my selfishness, and were immature. Thankfully, there is always room for growth and maturity, and thought I didn't realize it at the time, it was well needed.
Perhaps that's another entry.
Reasons Why Wednesdays are Wonderful:
1. No class until noon
2. Freshman Ministry Team
3. Followed by the tradition of Taco Bell
4. And 9:06 Worship
5. Followed by the tradition of Pop-Ice
6. And preparation for Thursday's weekly World Civ. test.
Right...
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